Are you serious?
by prolixius5
Summary: Series of drabbles or OS, not necessarily related to the episodes... The first one may sound totally weird. Sometimes, it happens, you know, when neurones are not fully functional in the morning . I hope you'll have fun. More to come.
1. Word game

**Word Game**

Sometimes, silly ideas just pop in my head. I know the most difficult thing to write is humor in a non-native language. So please, show mercy on this one. I hope you'll enjoy it.  
The place is: 12th Precinct  
The actors: Castle and Esposito. Castle speaks first.  
Drabble. OS.

* / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / *

Hey, Mister ?

_Are you calling me "Mister", Mr ?_

Not Mr Mister

_How can I help you, Mr …Richard …Castle?_

I thought you were gonna say Richard Page

_Don't make me laugh: you are a writer_

He was too

_He wrote songs, dude!_

Do you want me to sing to you?

_No, thanks, it just stopped raining_

I got a pretty voice, you know

_I don't doubt it_

C'mon on, be a sport

_Richard Lambourne?_

As in Bourne Identity?

_I won't follow you there_

Am I going too fast?

_Too high!_

Richard the Lionheart

_He did have a Castle!_


	2. Declaration of what?

_Slight deviation from the official scene… How about a real discomfort, rather than a plain reprimand?  
The idea just popped in my head about an hour ago; please forgive me. Next opus will be more friendly, I promise._

O*o*o*o*o*o*o*o*O

_**Declaration of… what?**_

At around 5pm, Beckett had to leave the office to meet her Dad. She told Castle she wouldn't be long gone.

As soon as the young woman was in the elevator, Gates walked to the door of her office and looked at Castle quite intensively.

It didn't last long before the writer felt he was being observed. He turned around on his chair and saw Gates literally staring at him.

He didn't know what to do. He put up a faint smile and resumed his current task: proof-reading Kate's final report of the last investigation.

He heard Gates clearing her throat, but refrained from looking in her direction again. He had never felt so uncomfortable in his life and was sure something extremely unusual was about to happen.

Then he heard Gates' voice, very low and unusually calm.

- Mr. Castle, would you be kind enough and join me in my office for a moment, please?

Well, that was new! Gates? Talking to him in such a nice way?

He swallowed hard, stood up and turned around just in time to see the Captain entering her office again.

He dragged his feet to her door and stopped for a short while.

- Please come in… and close the door, will you? She said very nicely.

_Now, she was definitely up to something, _he thought_. Castle, my man, you deserve what you fear is gonna happen!_

_-_ Sit down, make yourself comfortable.

Gates' tone was almost sugary.

Castle sat on the chair facing Gates yet found it difficult, almost painful to remain there, as if he sat on a bunch of sea urchins.

- I'm aware I've not always been very nice to you, Rick… may I call you Rick?

Right now, Castle not only found it hard to swallow; he could hardly breathe!

- I just wanted to make it up to you and let you know that I've been unfair on so many occasions. You know, that's my job: to play the boss around here. But I understand now that you're no regular employee of mine, that thing is certain.

She was giving him such a languid look that he felt the urge to jump from his chair and run away, fast, very fast.

- But there is something I need to tell you before … we can go on with our lives.

She stood up and walked around her desk. She sat on the edge, facing Castle, now fidgeting on his chair.

- You know I've been married for a long time now and I decided to let my heart speak, I must be honest with you, I...

She paused, smiled and gave Castle a peculiar side glance. He felt like he was the one sitting on a bomb about to explode under his feet.

- I love…

Castle closed his eyes. _No, please, not this! I swear it was just a mistake!_

- I love my husband more than I could say!

Castle opened his eyes. Gates extended a hand and threw a little grey jewel box on his lap. He swallowed hard. Looked at the box. Then raised his head to meet Gates' icy smile.

- I wish today were April 1. Nice face you make, Mr. Romantic! You may now stand up, leave my office and offer this to the right person.

Castle couldn't find the proper thing to say. So he didn't say anything. He stood up and quickly left Gates' office with a deep sigh of relief.

Gates closed the door behind him.

_If I hadn't overheard that covert conversation between Beckett and Castle about this Valentine's present in the wrong pocket, I would have missed this opportunity to see the Great Castle tumbling down for a few seconds. That'll teach him some discretion and humility in the future, while on my watch._

She sat back at her desk and resumed her paperwork.

She was all smiles.


	3. May I squire you for the night?

_Totally AU! But I couldn't help it. Enjoy ^_^_

O*o*o*o*o*o*o*o*O

_**May I squire you for the night?**_

It was not late in the evening when everyone decided to call it a day and prepare for the _special occasion_.

The week has been extremely harsh and full of bad surprises. Murderers had been nasty. Investigation had been arduous. Was it on account of full moon? Or simply because Halloween was knocking at the door?

In an attempt to try and forget the recent tensions, the boys had made a silly bet. Everyone in the team would dress up in a special costume. They'd even managed to convince Kate to join the fun.

So, by eight, Javier and Esposito were ready to walk the streets as _MIBs_. Esposito had even succeeded in finding replicas of guns through a contact at the latest comic con where a recent investigation had lead them.

Agents J and K were ready to rock.

- We do not discharge our weapons in view of the public, right? Said special agent K.

- Hey, c'mon, don't give me that nonsense! This definitely rates about 9.0 on my weird-shit-o-meter, replied J, immersing himself into the role with an unexpected perfection.

They were laughing like kids when agent J suddenly stopped and stared in awe towards the elevator.

A gorgeous creature has emerged as if from an antique TV show. She was dressed in a skin-tight black leather outfit: jacket, pants, high-heeled boots, her hair freely flowing down her shoulders. She approached her partners in a rolling gait. When she was close enough, agents J and K held their breath for a while, unable to say a word. She was stunning! They felt like they had been thrown back in time, about half a century back!

- We may have to arrest you for indecent exposure! Said J.

- I never thought you'd be too fragile to cope with the view, Agent J, the lady in black answered, with a mischievious smile.

She looked around, in search of the fourth missing partner.

- So? Where's the one who's gonna lose his bet? Has he finally cleared off? Too bad for…

- Look! Announced Agent K, pointing to the elevator.

The three turned to watch the last participant calmly walk to their desk.

The lady in black opened her mouth in astonishment. The rule had been clearly established between the four when the bet was made. No word to each other on what they would wear that night. It seemed obvious that special Agents J and K had cheated on this one, but their look was so brilliantly accurate that no one would think of any kind of reproach.

As far as the other two were concerned, it became evident that – knowing how they loved to tease one another and how they managed to keep secrets when necessary – they were definitely on the same wavelength without saying anything, just as they used to speak the same words at the same time, during investigations.

The dandy man approached the group of three and gave them a flicker of a smile. He was dressed in a mid-grey three-piece suit, white shirt, a mid-grey tie in a Windsor knot with white polka dots, black patent leather shoes. He was wearing on his shoulders a large dark grey frock coat. However, the two details which drew the attention of the others were what he wore on this head and what hung on his left arm.

The man approached the group and introduced himself with a delicious British accent.

- I'm delighted to make your acquaintance.

The man took his hat off and held it in his left hand.

The lady in black extended a hand upon which the elegant man delicately bowed and barely touched with his lips.

The lady raised her chin just a little, refrained with all her strength from smiling.

The man but the bowler back on his head, grabbed the umbrella with his right hand and offered his left arm to the lady.

- May I be your escort and devoted admirer for the night? My name is John Steed.

- My pleasure. I'm Mrs Peel. Emma Peel.

They all headed for the elevator, followed by the amused smiles of the 12th Precinct regular employees.


End file.
